True confession: I used to be a news anchor. News anchors report on unfortunate incidents. Crashes. Fires. Never once was I asked to get a soundbite to communicate a story of someone helping an old lady cross the street, or a college student who got his GPA up to a 3.8.
I had to report on things like airplane mishaps, and it was the only time — probably all year — that I used certain words. Like disembark (for the accidents with the more fortunate results, when passengers were able to do so). You just don’t hear people communicate that they “disembarked from their car” nearly enough these days. And fuselage. Tarmac is another good one. It’s actually short for tarmacadam (listen up, you Scrabble players) and it refers to either the way the pavement’s constructed, with a tar binder over layers of crushed stone, or the materials used to form such a surface.
It was on a recent Boston-to-Orlando flight that I realized that airline public relations is alive and well, even at 25,000 feet. As we neared The Sunshine State, stewardesses and stewards flight attendants asked us to gather up our trash unwanted service items. Unwanted service items. As in, they were items used to serve us in the form of food and beverage delivery, and now that we’re done with them, they are rendered undesirable. Cups, wrappers, napkins, cans and bottles. Also known as garbage.
“Why do they call them ‘unwanted service items?’ I asked as I disembarked (because it was a successful flight). “I don’t know,” said the attendant, laughing and shaking his head. Airlines have a communication style all their own. You don’t get off a plane, you disembark. The plane doesn’t land on pavement, it lands on a tarmac. And you don’t fly in the air with a bunch of trash. Absolutely not.